Don’t you dare give up.

Thank God it’s Friday!
New theme hehe, I kind of got sick of the old one and wanted to see something fresher.

The week seemed to have passed pretty fast.
Funny thing is, yesterday felt like Wednesday.

Finally got to sleep just a little better last night.
(This almost happens only once a week on average.)
But the same thing just always happen- I keep waking at around 4 in the mornings.
I think it’s a habit because I used to get a text around then previously.
And then I’ll start waking up in intervals after that.
It’s so disruptive, I really don’t like it.
I used to be alright, but school’s too tiring for that to be happening to me.

Sigh, I really need to use my time wisely.
But half the time my eyelids are heavy.
My brain’s dying to shut down.
The mornings are always the hardest- The getting out of bed in the first place.

Oh yes and my appetite’s been bad lately.
I still make myself eat of course.
It goes like this most of the time:
When it’s time for lunch or dinner, I know I need to get food.
So yes, food’s in front of me and it’s time to dig in.
After the first mouthful of food… I feel full already.
But I have to make myself complete my meal.

Oh well.

I just have to grit my teeth and do what I need to do.
I know I’m not the only one struggling.
So if you’re reading this, and you feel suffocated just like I do, take a deep breath and tell yourself everything will be alright.
That’s not enough though.
After that you have to believe in yourself and what you just told yourself.

Come on come on we can all do this!

(Hmmmmm, sometimes I can’t believe in my positivity. I was never like that. But well, I have to believe in myself too yes? And we all just have to keep fighting.)

 

Were you drunk?

Past few nights were ko nights.
I think it was 3 consecutive nights that I dozed off without wanting to.
And sleeping with my hair wet sucks.
Just glad no headache came my way.

Woke up today thinking there was school.
I was about to panic.
Then I laid on my bed trying to think which day it was, what my timetable would be like, what time would I end etc etc.
And then I realised it was Saturday.

Oh yes, and since I was reading my GP yesterday before falling asleep.
Had my Physics assignment worksheet with it because I was actually intending to do work.
Now, I woke up and my physics paper is missing, my GP paper on the floor.
Rawr okay, I’m going on a hunt now.

Can’t wait to meet fy laterrrrrr. :D

 

There’s too much noise in my head, again.

Worries
Questions
Doubts
Thoughts

Some questions just don’t have answers eh?

(Edit)
I had so much difficulty sleeping last night.
It’s unimaginable.
Probably one of my worst nights.
Gah.
(/Edit)

 

Empty.

It’s still quite unbelievable that Pw has ended.
Yesterday was quite an experience but very tiring.
I was hoping that our group’s energy will still stay because we were the last of groups to present.
I can’t remember much of the entire thing.
I stood there, and somehow I got scared.
But I believe I did what I had to do and I did what I could with what I had.

Oh yes, I realised, I can’t wake up early anymore.
It’s like my body refuses to.
I feel quite weird about it.
Because it feels like I’m losing purpose.

 

Would you rather?

I don’t like hearing the howling of the wind through the thin gaps of the windows that were not closed properly.
The wind’s really strong, something on the levels above me dropped with a loud BOOM and I could feel the floor vibrate.
It’s probably going to rain really heavily soon.
Then it’ll be so awful to get out of bed early in the morning when the weather is perfect for sleeping in.

It’s 0156 now and I just bathed.
Sucks because I was too tired the moment I came home, I really couldn’t get anything done.
No matter where I sat, all that was in my head was ‘sleep’.
So I eventually had a 4 hour nap.
Disastrous.
It shouldn’t even be called a nap.

Brother called from Australia when I was in school today.
I was too caught up with pw to ask if he was okay. :(

 

Wreck

Usually my concentration, productivity and self discipline are barely there but I still manage alittle work.
Today was just terrible.
Nothing’s done and it’s just about reaching 11. Probably past 11 by the time I get this published.
Aye.

I think I’m starting to have trouble sleeping too. Hah.

Felt like I barely slept last night.
I was tossing and turning at 0100.
Wide awake at 0500 thinking I was late for school already.
In between I was barely sleeping.
Relaxing my thinking brows(I like this expression somehow) didn’t work. Hehheh.
Felt like I was stoning through the hours and just really trying to get myself out of myself for some sleep but it wasn’t working.

Alright, I’m not coherent and full of nonsense. (As always :/)
And I’m still awake because I just got a cup of cofffffeeeee.
Hmm.

Do you know the feeling of like,
“There’s so little time left because I wasted too much time today. So I might as well waste all of it because even that bit of time left would not be productive. So should I, or should I not do my work with the remaining time?”
Yeah I had coffee but I doubt I can last tonight.
Hmmm.

Jiayou, acl.

 

Sorry, I lack courage.

Nowadays, everytime I accidentally doze off, I wake up feeling really cranky.
I don’t like how I waste my hours because I end up falling asleep.
And I woke up and saw that I had so many unanswered messages just now.
I’m really sorry to all.
Like if I were them, I’ll be very impatient waiting for replies.
I’m okay with late replies depending on the situation.
But I’d rather not send late replies.

What happened to being text maniacccc ):
I’m becoming more zombiefied each day,
Hellllllllllllp, I don’t want. ):

Did I mention I woke up to so many undone work.
I don’t know what to do about PW, whether to just scrape the idea ):
She like put me down until I can’t go lower, when she still added a AE/ME.
She is so two-faced and rude.
Excuse me, you aren’t the only human, we are humans too.

 

The unhealthy going on altogether

I need to stop dozing off because I really don’t know what happens.
I dozed off but I don’t remember how I woke.
So now it’s relatively late and I have to stay up to wait till my hair is relatively dry.
AND I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING,
argh.

 

The scary underside

Choir camp wasn’t perfect-perfect.
But I had my fun in making new friends and getting to know people.
Therefore I’m thoroughly thankful already.

Now I’m tired after shivering the whole of last night and finding it difficult to breathe in the choir room.
Thanks for sleeping in the classroom, guys. :X

Mmmmm.
Gonna be busy days ahead.
I didn’t think it was the March holidays, hah.

 

Rollercoaster ride

Today was such an adventure.

I woke up at five odd, realising it’s Saturday.
Saturday = choir = wake early = runnnn.
Groggy, all that was in my head was, “need to wake up on time.”
I remembered that I didn’t set my alarm the night before.
So I started counting down the hours, set my alarm and went back to sleep.

Then when I woke up, i still snoozed.
Went to the toilet and as I sat there, I realised that I didn’t remember anything from last night. Only remembered watching the tv.
I was supposed to start on homework so that I can go to alicia’s bbq laterr.
I was supposed to bathe and do my treasurer accounts.

Sigh.
Woke up with a really bad eye infection.
Could really see my eye’s membrane. This time near the remains of my third eyelid.
Looked like my eye was falling apart or something.
It was really red, itched, and felt swollen someway.
Looked gooshy and just gross.
I also figured my parents weren’t home to sign my camp form.
Worst of all, I slept without bathinggg.
): ): ):

So I went to bathe and everything.
Blow dry.
Was about to make my brother sign the form for me but my father was back in time.
I was feeling really blurr.
Whined/ ranted to FY tooo when she texted.
When I thought I was ready to leave, I havent tied my hair, haven’t worn my contacts. (Yes, I’d wear it despite an infection.)

What a bad day right.
So irritating.
Almost left my house without my phone too.
Left my house 10 minutes later than planned.
Thought I was gonna be late but I still had some time.
However I wanted to walk to school with michelle though she missed her train.

When she reached few minutes later, she was runninggg.
I genuinely thought we could still make it in time if we brisk walked to school. Then soon we saw two guys running ahead of us.
Then both of us also run!
I didn’t recognise them and all. Were we That late? :/
Ran into the cc and found out they were still closed. Wanted to go out by right gate but it was closed.
Hahaha. Thinking of it now is quite funny.
All the frustration.
Michelle then asked what cca they were from anddddd.
“Choir.”
Hoho die.
Run run run run run.
Though there’s five minute grace, we weren’t really keeping track of time and if we were to be later than that must pay two bucksss!

Then the side gate was closed! I wanted to die man.
No breakfast no water I was running and I don’t like to run with my bag and everything.

There was this button thing which michelle pressed. I still don’t get how it works but yeah the gate opened I believe with help from the GO since she did speak to a lady.
Then run run run to the cafe.
We made it in time!

Now that the morning was over.
Felt like I was done with the day already.
I’m feeling tired.
But heading to alicia’s laterrrr.
Come home must really do homework. :/

 

Differing

And since I don’t feel like sleeping yet, I’ll pobably either spam posts here or at Twitter.

Ever since school started, the time taken in travelling has always bothered me.
It isn’t all that far. But I probably feel this way because I used to take just about 10 minutes to get to school last time.
Of course, this change has to occur.
I’m dealing quite well with it.
In the sense that I can accept the time that has to be taken for travelling.

However. Being acl, I’ll never want to be late for school.
Before I sleep, I actually set three alarms.
Two before six and one at six.
I’m that afraid of oversleeping because this time it’ll really be hard to be on time by rushing there.

With that I become a light sleeper.
I wake up to at least two to three times each night before the actual time to wake up.
I’d check the time and go, “okay still got some time, can sleep alittle more.”
This interrupted sleep or whatever you call it, makes me feel horrible each time I wake.
I wouldn’t have had a good rest.

I want to take ten minutes to get to school!

 

Down down down

If I couldn’t sleep yesterday already,
Or had that much of a difficulty getting to sleep,
What made me think I could sleep today?

Hmm.
But I’m really tired.

 

Take my heart with you,

Keeping late nights.
Feels, natural.
Well I know its bad, I’ve seen so many articles about health.
That it’s not just balanced diet and exercise but also sufficient sleep.
Ah, well.

There’s something I can’t take.
My eyes can’t lie.
Though most people shouldn’t, be able to tell.
That’s just bad. Very bad.

Sigh.

It’s tomorrrrrrow.
Oh, no, todayyyy.
Well either way, I can’t say anything.