Sometimes I wished my mom knew when to stop talking. The more she went on this morning. The more I just suppressed all the feelings so I won’t explode. The more I just knew I had to get out of the house because I can’t risk being so close to exploding when I’ve still got work in an hour or so.
The more they suddenly put down expectations, the more I don’t wish to go home or meet them. The more I think they are just too much. Asking too much.
It’s already the 5th of February.
Next thing you know, 2013.
I always like February for how it’s short and sweet.
Fewer days. And I don’t know. The feeling is just different for me.
January is usually draggy, dreadful.
Then February is light, sweet.
March is monotonous.
April is bright, interesting.
May blooms. June zooms.
July lingers. August dull.
September tolerable. October worrisome.
November anxiety. December bittersweet.
I may not have understood what I just typed above. But moving on, February didn’t seem nice this year.
I remember that it didn’t start too well.
But I actually forgot why.
The thought that I could have a memory of a goldfish (exaggerated) makes me unhappy too.
Or maybe I just remember the wrong things. Then again why?
February has been rushy so far.
I don’t like it. :(
When I was younger, I always wondered how my mom knew which bus would take us where.
In my head, I’d think, how does mummy know that 14 would take us to orchard? Do you think in future I’d know too?
She knew where all the buses could take us whenever I asked for directions to a certain place.
(Probably because the places I knew then were limited too).
And as I grew up, I guess it became natural.
And of course, all you have to do to find out which bus goes where is by trying it out just once.
I don’t know why I typed this here.
Just felt like I was silly. And well, still am.
I’m on my way to serene but. I forgot my biscuits. How? :(
Spent the morning with my parents today and went for proper breakfast.
That’s probably what made me forget about my biscuits.
Felt long since I talked proper to my mom.
I was prepared to mention the elephant at home but stopped when my dad was going home with us too.
Does that mean I should not ask?
And my mom is trying to find every reason for me to go home early.
But I don’t even go home That late!
Boooo. x.x
Once in awhile the conversations we had flash by my mind.
So today here’s what I remembered and would like to share:
Don’t go the easy way out.
Don’t expect someone to tell you everything’s going to be okay.
Nobody knows.
And you just have to keep fighting.
You have to make things okay.
The weekend wasn’t too productive in the work-sense since I spent quite some time out.
But yes I definitely know it’s time to get down to business.
Can’t spend too much time out now so I’ve to cut that little time to close to no time out now. Sigh.
Another busy week ahead.
Long days. Dreadful.
But I still hope that the week will start alright and end alright.
And looook, it’s like already August.
So scary. :(
The amount of dread for this paper scares me. I don’t remember sleeping.
I was probably on the edge of my sub-consciousness last night.
It’s amusing because, we may think the study break flew by fast. And this will just be two hours of that three weeks.
But the dread resonates within me. It makes me feel like the two hours will last much longer than the three weeks.
Haha shit damned stressed.
Double paper day, all the best!
My grandma is such a strong woman.
It makes me feel ashamed of how weak I am.
Just got back sometime ago after visiting grandma.
She just had her operation and she looks weak.
The hospital bed looks so big, and my grandma looks like a small lady just lying there and sleeping soundly.
Hopefully she recovers quickly as she can’t take in anything since it’ll all be vomited out.
I can’t bear watching people vomit.
What more she’s my grandma.
I don’t know how to feel about this entire situation actually.
Grandma’s so strong, so hard headed, so independent.
Why isn’t she scared at all of anything?
Ahhhh.
The long weekend has been pretty crazy.
Have been having practice almost everyday except for Sunday which I took to rest.
It’s just so cool, this entire experience with saints chorale.
I’ve always loved choir.
But I have to admit I didn’t like it in this choir initially.
Now that we’ve grown, and went through the different times together, and got the chance to know each other better, I can’t bear to leave.
Had this really awesome time with most of the music comm today.
So much fun and seriousness.
Though there are times I talk about how I didn’t want to be a sectional leader, I’m grateful I got to be, because it led me to meet and get to know really good people.
Just one day left.
One day to make a difference.
Sigh.
I’m supposed to be glad that I’ve cleared a mess.
I already saw it coming.
It happened as I thought it would.
Hi memories, please pass soon. Just remain at the back of my head, and don’t do any form of playback.
Time check: 0215
It’s late and I’m not exactly tired yet.
I have a bad feeling about my back these days and today, the right side of my back ached like *{&\*[=}€[[+[.
Plussss, my eyes can’t do with contacts when I’m without eyedrops.
My dogs ate up my eyedrops yesterday. :(
I always feel this weird itch in my eyes.
Then I know already, that it’s going to hurt both ways, whether I remove it or not.
Sigh.
I’d remove it because only that way will my eyes feel better soon.
It’s usually the right eye and it gets me upset.
Looking past all these, heheheh FY is back in Singaporeeee!
And besides, the day started well because I had a good laugh.
It was so amusing.
And it puzzles me how some of us can communicate when it seems so impossible.
It’s weird. But weird in a cool way.
Time check: 0225
My brother just came home a while ago and he’s blasting some video.
Rawrrr, x.x
To: FY!
Despise is a verb (to be used with an object, i think) and it is to regard with contempt.
Despicable is an adjective! And it means deserving to be despised.
Do you get the definitionsss? B)
Something feels. Not right.
I feel really woozy ever since after I had a nap.
My nap ended being quite a few hours when I just didn’t want to wake up.
But of course, time doesn’t wait for anyone.
Not as if sleeping could just stop time right.
Hmm maybe it should.
