Backspaced

I unearthed my jay chou album, hah. Planning to add the songs into my iPod.
I was supposed to do that maybe a year ago because I lost the songs somewhere along the way.
Probably when I changed to using my ‘new’ laptop.
It’s when I chanced upon a disc covered partly with dust.
The cover read “smss”.
I was curious. I wondered if it was supposed to be the smss choir concert years ago.
Man I’m still sore that I don’t have the recording. :( And the disc wasn’t it.
It contained other choral songs, and it made me miss smss choir all over again.

I can’t emphasise how much smss choir impacted me during the secondary school years.
It was the most that made those 4 years count.

The fond memories probably started flooding my from yesterday when I headed back to to serene with Amanda. Which Joey later joined us.
I probably should head there weekly again (With some exceptional Saturdays maybe).

Mmmmmm.
Time to get on with the day.

 

Now the chapter has really been closed.

I’m so glad that we had a short week.
But there’s too many things ahead of me.
So many things to do, I can’t handle everything all at once.
And even though there’s only just 1 more day to this weekend.
The teachers just spam all the assignments. :(

It feels like an eventful week despite it being short.
Firstly, I’m so happy for smss choir for their Gold.
It’s a legacy they’re leaving behind.
And I was touched when Ms Grace told me this while I texted her:
“Thank you Choon Ling & all past years’ alumni…y’all sowed the seeds &the choir is enjoying the fruits now. Tk u so much for everyone of u (alumni) :) by God’s grace, everyone of u did it :) Tks for praying too”

I think I’ve continuously mentioned how Ms Grace has such a great impact on my life.
But you know, she’s just so wonderful.
Mmmm. :)

Just came back from the cemetery some time ago.
I woke up with bad flu and two awfully red stingy eyes though.
It was so worrying because I can’t afford to fall sick when I’m so close to syf.
I’m quite excited for the exchange tomorrow.
And you know, just sometimes, I feel sick thinking about syf.
In the sense that I’d feel nauseous.
It’s like a battle that’s so scary, so competitive.

I just hope people could put in more effort.
Study their scores.
Remember what they’ve learnt.
That shouldn’t be a lot to ask for if you want to be part of the battle right?

Just a little more to go.
Can you just sacrifice for this short while more?

Sigh.

 

Tegami

Letter, To 15 year old, you.

It’s a song for Open house, and I’m having lots of trouble learning it because though the harmony sounds really nice and the tune is catchy, but I just had problems.
Anddd, sometimes I wonder if I hold back my own learning.
As for now, I’d like to share the lyrics because I liked it.

Dear you who are reading this letter: I wonder where you are and what you’re doing.

15-year-old me has worries that I can’t talk to anyone else about.

If I write this letter to my future self, surely I will be able to honestly and openly express myself.

Whose words should I believe now, when I’m on the edge of losing, on the brink of tears, and on the verge of disappearing? When this heart that I only have one of is constantly being broken to pieces? When I’m living through these difficult years?

Dear 15-year-old you, thank you for you letter. I have some things that I’d like to say to you.

If you keep asking yourself “in which direction should I head?” the answer will come to you.

The rough seas of adolescence are harsh, but the ship of your dreams will continue to the riverbank of tomorrow.

And when you don’t want to lose, to cry, when you don’t want to disappear, believe in your own voice. And even the adult me has times when I get hurt, even has sleepless nights, but life is bittersweet.

There is meaning to the entirety of one’s life, so follow your dreams without unease; keep on believing.

Whose words should I believe now, when I’m on the edge of losing, on the brink of tears, and on the verge of disappearing? When you don’t want to lose, to cry, when you don’t want to disappear, believe in your own voice. And whatever your age, sorrow can’t always be avoided, but I now try to live my life showing my smiling face.

Dear you who are reading this letter,
I wish good things for you.

Credits: Drew Hamilton (Alpha Whiskey Hotel.org)

Hoped you guys liked the lyrics as much as I do.
Search for the song in Youtube if you’re free! B)

 

The feelings that come once in awhile.

Somehow I just felt like rewatching smss choir videos.
And you know the feeling is just..
There are no words to describe it.
I miss the choir of my batch.
I miss the every Friday meetings and not leaving without singing a song.
I miss the performances and how it just feels to be part of smss choir.
Woah.

 

Speech Day 2010

My seat of R07 made me wonder if I should never have came for speech day.
But that would have been one of the greatest regrets for 2010.

It was really nice seeing everyone again, especially those not from sajc such as Claire, Evelyn, Nerissa and the others.
The afternoon/ evening did feel like any day back in 2009.
Those times I really wish could replay.
Singing the school hymn at the start of everything made me know how much I missed st margs.
I felt a sort of comfort singing it, and I sang it proudly because I like our school hymn.
The comfort just told me that it feels extremely fantastic to be back for even just a day.
Personally, the feelings that returned were quite overwhelming but now I can control betterrrrrr.

Even when it was just watching the choir perform.
Though the piano was too loud and all but you know, it made me think, “woah, I was on that stage with the choir for all the other speech days.”
It was saddening thinking about how I was always up there with them.
Smss choir was something that is really dear to me.
Though I might have just been an alto sectional leader, but I loved what I was doing to bits.
I loved how school was like.
I’m really thankful for those memories.

The best of times were spent there.
I met the most wonderful people there.
The teachers who were really sweet in our year of taking the O levels.
Everything part of smss even how I disliked having prefects around, how recesses were spent in class, the conversations that mattered and how everyone cared for everyone else even in the slightest way.
Every aspect of smss, is a beautiful memory.

And they are more than priceless.

 

Going home.

I remember one of the comm’s favourite song from Libera.
Going Home.
And we’d sing it at the staircase up to the theatrette because it has awesome acoustics, hah.
Josh is adorable too hahahah. :X

 

He seems to understand my thoughts on leaving.

This is my stay-home week.
Supposedly for study but obviously, that doesn’t work out.
I end up in front of the television most of the times.
Just somehow, I can watch the television for hours.
Then I get really tired, and decide it’s bedtime.
At least my bedtime hours are back to normal. Heh.

Went back to smss yesterday.
You know, I really really like it there.
I’m sorry if I might offend anyone saying this, but I just don’t like it at current school.
And that’s the most polite way I can put it already.

Was back to the place where I felt at home.
The theatrette.
I like that place.
I miss singing with smss choir.
Where singing was about nurturing the love for it.
Now, sadly, it’s about being the best.

I miss having Ms Grace as my conductor.

Watched some anime with brother yesterday on tv.
Now I’m afraid I might be hooked on it.
In the sense that I want to finish the episodes you know.

This is bad.
I am being really honest here.
I really haven’t studied.
I swear.

Woah. What am I doing.

 

I heard them shouting your name.

I just felt like coming here before I get my second bath of the day, then coffee, then work (hopefully).
Don’t wanna fall asleep early.

Today was sports day.
When it was late in the afternoon, I was still feeling so happy that our combined class event won like first first first!
Though I knew I had a performance at night, I really didn’t want to let another sports day pass without cheering.
Previous years I couldn’t too, because choristers will check, heh.
This time I was screaming like crazyyyy.
Heh.

Before that the class keep telling the three guys,”better win okay!”
I even told them, not just win okay, must be first!
They said they will and look what they achieved. B)
Deren, Dilong, and Joseph did us proud.
Congrats, congrats!
Deren made a good lead and the gap was really big.
Then dilong continued it by running like mario, hahaha.
Then joseph chiong ah!

But of course, it’s also because 09s27 has powerful runners.

Eh and Joseph was so disappointed that tau huay was cancelled since many people had plans already.
Maybe we can have it if pe can’t be shifted tomorrow!
Hoho.

Anyway, good job to alll, (as long as I know you)!
I’m so mega proud of them.

And choir cip performance just nowwww.
It was not that bad for a start. :B

Oh and I wonder how the st margs band is doing at the esplanade now. :D

 

I can’t stop, You can’t stop me.

Gooooood day!

It’s feels brilliant to know that I’m alive.
Not that I went through a near death experience but.
School is crazy. Insane. Hectic. Draining. Exhaustive. Demanding. Stressful. Traumatising.

PW topics don’t suit my ideas.
And on the usual basis I take so long to even come up with ideas.
Geez.
Gonna squeeze them out of me before school opens again.
Choir took place (non-official practices too) for 4 out of my 6 days week.
I go home zombiefied and yes, it’s like a 100% chance of dozing off by the time I take out my tutorials.

I’ll treasure my Fridays.
I wonder if anyone felt my happiness for Friday. :D

 

Fully awesome.

Todayyy, the pictures will do the talking.
Actually there’s not much of talking to be done, heh. :X

Choir camp!
Gamemasters are awesome, hahaha. :X
Take note I’m the clean-est one.
I didn’t play cheat okay!
Nobody noticed that I was playing basketball at the other side of the court, hah. :D

These were the two I managed the water games with, hoho.

This was Day 1 with FY.
Looked so funny in all the photos so I picked a teeeny weeny one. :X

Day 2, where we headed to smss! :D

The the the, dinnnner!

And finallllly Day 3 with FY!
You know, I’m starting to really loveeeee LOMO.

Not forgetting, I love my little monster and the drink itself. :D

 

Incorrect definitions.

Yesterday was PC-Movie day and visit choristers day. :B
Day was fine overalllll.
Saw all the choristers sing and just wished they had more support.
(Okayyy, but they were good, yes.)

Movie day was postponed till night where FY came over to my block there and we re-watched Bolt.
Bolt bolt bolt bolt.
Couldn’t remember so many parts of the show.
That’s probably why I should always watch movies twice and more.
And it was only till yesterday that I realised I didn’t get parts of speech, etc.
How, silly. Heh. ):

 

I got your point.

Hoho. Totally slacked today.

Hmmm.
It really doesn’t feel like the March Holidays to me.
Maybe because there’s still school.
Moreover I had long weeks before this.
So after the first two days of school, it’ll probably just feel like my weekends are finally here.
Long weekends before school starts all over againnn.

For a start.
Have yet still to feel adapted to college.
Somehow doesn’t feel right at times.
And for some reason, I’d feel olddddd.
Like really really old. ):

This week, I hope there’ll be class outings for Nerd Alert and s24!
Then I’m going to collect certs with FY.
Go back to smsc.
Catch up with playbacks.
Catch up with claire and evelynnnnn!
And I don’t know.
Just a lot of catching up to do.

Rawr.
May this week last really really long.

And somehow after camp, I’m growing to love choir again.
Heh. :D

 

Days back.

On wednesdayyy, was cross country!
Had my dad send me to east coast park and all.
To think I thought I was there pretty early.
But to my father and my own surprise, there were quite alot of people there already.
The thingggg was. My usual morning people were not there yet. ):
Thank goodness, I met with tacy after speaking with angie.

Throughout the morning before the run, some had trouble deciding, “Should I run? Or walk?”
As for meeeee, it was quite a dilemma too.
But in the end I walked most of it with letisha. :B
It was so funny when we wanted to do alternate jogging and walking each time we pass the the. People who guide the route.
(Cant find suitable words to mention them at the moment. :/)

Then had milo from the milo van for the first time.
Hahaha.
I never went for milo before because the queue for it is always ridiculous.
But this time we escaped alittle before dismissal and got milo easily.

Afterwhichhhh, og outing!
We met up and headed to plaza for lunch and then a movie.
I thought maybe we could have gone to astons but it didn’t happennn.
Alot of silly moments and laughter.

Next up was the movie!
My first time yet again, this time for getting so many tickets.
Alright actually it was only 16. (I think)
Because of movie timings and nat said we shouldn’t go for nc16 nor m18, we were left with Dear John.

Go up to any of us and we wouldn’t recommend anyone to watch it.
When it ended, everyone felt cheated of our money.
It’s as if we paid money just to watch pda.
Furthermoreeee, tsk someone behind me kept laughing/sniggering/giggling because he pobably felt ticklish by the scenes.
No names will be mentioned. :X

Then then we headed to istana park while nat went to ‘withdraw money’.
They were playing truth or dare and all that was in my head was,’ not me, not me, not me.’
Didn’t get it in the end and I hope you understand my relief.

Left soon after with abigail while the rest headed to orchard or something I think.
Thennn I made my way to smss.
Hohoho, you should’ve felt what was bubbling inside me.
Couldn’t wait to get there and at the same time I was afraid I’d reach when choir has ended.
174 surprised me with it’s short journey and I got there on desired time. B)

It was really nice being on familiar ground all over again.
Somewhere I spent a good 4 years.
It was nice to see the juniors, teachers and Ms G.

After choir they were taking time to discuss about the new committee and my attention span was shorter than usual because I was tired.
I didn’t listen to much but I tried and I think I still know most of it.
Everyone probably got carried away and it was about 1939 when we decided it’s time to go.

This was where things got pretty ugly.
Unhappy parents.
Annoying security.
The security guard was shouting and scolding all of us.
While his duty ends at 1930, which no one knows and he just didn’t have the heart to check the school if there were still people around.
Cars in the compound and he didn’t bother.
Ms C then came out to apologise on all our behalf although we said sorry and thank you when he opene the gate.
However this guy is just so over the top and think he’s king.
I don’t like Ms C’s habit of putting blames on herself when it clearly isn’t hers.
And I got to know about Ms C’s fall in school because guard clearly boasted that he coordinated an ambulance for her previously when she had a fall.

This is where it is so worrying.
Ms C is old already.
Can’t you just stop rushing her and making things difficult for her?
Have a heart.

Ah well.
I had dinner with melanie after which and tried to do alittle math.
The questions i did, I only had a quarter of them right. Heh.

Came home by ten and mmmm.
That was it.
It was a good day overall, being able to talk to Ms C, Ms G, and hearing how the choir is doing.

Aye.